Monday, May 31, 2010


Credited to you know who. Jino is a good porn writer, I tell you.

He is a friend I know from friend’s friend, just to realize later that he is another friend’s cousin. His name is Jackson.

We agreed on a date in Sunway Pyramid on a fine Saturday morning. To be late on the first date is usually unforgivable but I gave him credit for appearing breathless and wet at the back of his fine striped long sleeves when we crossed eyes. Wearing a pair of black, thick frame glasses, his hair was moderately styled. He doesn’t have the look of his age; he looks too mature to be 20 years old. Apparently his lateness was due to the incompetence of public taxi around KL.

The real day started in the toilet in TGV after we purchased our tickets – The Wolfman. Nearby the corner of TGV area was a small washroom with only two urinals and one stall. Washroom was so small that the urinals located so near to the entrance. Another interesting fact is the urinals are designed so that anyone who passes by can catch a peek, openly. I stood at the urinal closest to the entrance as the stall was already occupied. While Jackson stepped up to the next urinal after it was free, I heard the zipper opening and then he leaned forward a bit to extract his own cock from its confines.

I swear I saw the reddish head.

A moment later, I could hear the first splash of his piss hitting the porcelain. He was holding his cock with his left hand, but I could see the head and a bit of shaft. I glanced quickly at his face. He was staring straight ahead, so my eyes returned to my own cock to avoid eye contact. He finished pissing and was squeezing out the last drops before giving it a final shake. Involuntarily, I grew my boner and it took very long to realize nothing flowed out. Few minutes after he had done, few more patrons rushed in. And I stood embarrassed not moving at all. Without settling any business, I tucked myself away and joined Jackson among the crowds.

“What’s taking so long?”
“Nothing came out” I said while trying hard to hold my pee.
“Not used to open toilets?”
“Looks like you’ve figured out but let’s douse some fire first” as we rushed to other washroom.
“Haha so cute”

Jackson ordered my lunch in Subway, I forgot to warn him no pickles on my sandwich but I ate them anyway so to give him a good side of impression. We proceeded to 3 pm movie after staying in Subway for 2 or more hours doing nothing but to stare at each other in attempt to initiate conversation. Throughout the scenes, he did not give any indication to holding his hands though I continuously hinted him my attention. And that made the movie a hell boring.

Only after the movie, the ice was slowly broken. What do you expect? After all, this was our first meet. We started by talking more about the movie mostly, and then the topic drifted to his relationship problems with his exes and finally to the dinner when my gastric began secreting his juice. The gastric was subdued by a simple Sushi King. We are not rich. Again we occupied the table further 1 hour to kill some time before we checked in to a nearby budget hotel. RM 100 a night was not worth, I would say. Speaking of poor, Jackson isn’t as poor as I thought he would be. Well, the idea of staying at his house was out of question. So we resorted to a room outside a house.

His bag was thrown onto the bad, followed by a jump on the big sized bed. Based on its size it was deduced to be queen bed, for the 2 of us. He took out a towel out of his bag and headed to the toilet. I was anticipating him to invite me for a 2 person bath. So he did, hiding his naked body behind the door, he asked if I want to join.

“Would you allow?”
“Come and find out” and the next moment, he closed the door and the lock sound could be heard.

Few minutes after the shower run, he started singing on top of his lung. No comment on his singing, but I could not have mistakenly heard the knob turned and the sound of door unlocked. Quickly, I turned the knob slowly, leaving the door ajar. No negative respond from him which I took the chance to join in the shower.

He was already half way soaping his body when I stood in front of him naked. I soaked myself under the warm water when he gave my ass a squeeze. His cut cock was growing steadily to its 90 degrees. He reached the toiletries bag prepared from home and passed me a body scrub. I immediately knew what to do and swiftly apply the cream on his back. He suffered severe body acne. I am grateful my back is not severely damaged as his. I’ve forgotten to describe Jackson, haven’t I?

His face isn’t smooth and never had I say mine is any better. However he is not as ugly as many of us. Although he is probably 5’6”, his body proportions are equally matching, making him quite a hot shortie (my opinion). He is currently doing some body training, no 6 packs of abs are observed but his abdomen feels hard. I wouldn’t say he is fat; neither is he the malnourished twink. In conclusion, he is an average chap who doesn’t look like his age but is able to turn me on.

We washed each other out, mostly scrubbing his body and limbs. It’s natural to only move my hands as far as his pubics and not more than what was necessary. Who knows if he rejects, withdraws himself and leave me into disappointment? I would leave the best on bed, if he shows more hint to proceed. Oh yeah his jewel is an average 5 incher. There was no conversation in the toilet besides “scrub harder” and “thank you”.

Waiting him dried, I put on bermuda and a thin layered singlet and imagined what would happen next. It was clear he shivered when he set his foot out the toilet. He wore a pair of athlete shorts, in it was a blue renoma bikini brief. He was simply amazing in that outfit. But he has to slid himself into a yellow t shirt.

Both of us were lying down tilted on the head to not wet the bed with our hair. And we continued our conversation to an undetermined time in which I couldn’t recall what we had. Occasionally we sat up to gulp some shandy to build our mood. But I was positive we stopped at a sex topic where the warmth became intolerable, the night began.

It started with a swelling in his shorts. He was getting a hard on as he lied there and he wasn't using anything except his mind to cause it. The swelling turned into a tube which began to push out along the left leg of his shorts, getting closer and closer to the opening. This highlighted the outline of his erection and made me realize that he was both ready and willing. I rested my shandy aside and straightened Jackson's hair with my fingers.
I lifted his tight shirt off, his nipple were fully displayed. It was protruding and as hard and pointed as the cock between my legs.

We lay on the bed side by side, our faces almost touching. I edged forward, tilting my head to one side until our lips met. It was a gentle kiss and there was a lot of passion in it, but I wasn't very good at it. I could feel Jackson' moan vibrating his lips. He looked nervous in the beginning, but quickly fell to the pleasure and let himself relax and get into the mood as I carefully reached out with my hands, to the waist band of his boxers and carefully pulled them down.

Again I edged, this time my chest pressed against his side, and then my cock pushed against his right hip. My body moved against his once more and I felt suddenly comfortable there. My eyes closed. A long groan escaped my throat. I could feel his breath on my face and it made my cock swell against his hip.

We continued kissing. He turned toward me. His arms came around my waist and pulled my clothes off, piece by piece before he tugged me forward. I was pressed against his chest. My heart pounded against his. I could feel his cock pressing into my stomach.

He slowly moved and kissed and licked down from my neck and nipples to armpits to my belly button and to the small line of hair traveling down to my cock. I simply love his hairy armpits. I took my turn and had him lied down again. I repay his favour by doing the same: kissed and licked from his neck to his cock. His enormous balls looked even better from the front, as he cupped them in his hand, and pulled them in closer to my mouth. I felt his hand on the back of my head, pushing me onto his balls. Then I turned my attention to his cock again and slurped my way along the length of the shaft. Jackson shuddered in pleasure, his knees buckling for a moment.

A soft groan came to my ear and I glanced quickly at him. His eyes were clenched now and his mouth hung open slightly. I drew his cock back between my lips and began to work him, getting the rhythm going for few more minutes. Jackson let out a long sigh and gasped for air.

As we switch our role again, I watched as my shaft disappeared into his mouth and re-emerged, wet and hard. I could feel his tongue stroking the underside of my cock, felt his hand cupped my balls and massage them gently. I began to thrust myself into Jackson's mouth and thought he might gag him, but he took my entire shaft with no difficulty. I thrust a little harder, wanting to fuck Jackson's mouth, losing myself in the sensation. We lay face to face for a while, with Jackson on top, kissing and humping so that our cocks rubbed together.

He moved from the position and raised my legs up into the air. For a while, my hole was completely visible, sending my hormones into overdrive. Jackson spat on his forefinger and spread the spit around my hole with his finger and relaxed it. Thrusting in and out, he observed my facial expression and gradually increased the number of fingers. I nearly screamed of pain but any pain felt at the start had disappeared so that only pleasure remained.

He got up from the bed and reached his bag for a packaged condom. He passed it to me to carefully open it with teeth. I unrolled it on his cock, giving it a little massage as well for good measure. Jackson reached up and got a tube of lube from his bag and squirted the lube onto my hole. He teased it with his dick, ensuring a good and ample spread around the opening. I took his cock in my hand and slid it up my own ass. He made his entry and we were fucking.

My ass was begging me to stop due to the pain, but my horniness won the battle. I positioned myself so that when his cock rammed my prostate, I could feel the semen being rising up in my cock. He occasionally moaned. I consistently shouted in pleasure. He held my shoulder up and I was in “penetrate in seated position", enabled him to force his cock deeper into me. He then whispered in my ear to say stop if I cannot take it.

“You stop only when you cum” I replied.

He continued for around 30 minutes when I requested for a break.

“So fast? I am just about to enjoy” he said, surprised.
“I almost burst” I exclaimed, out of breath.
“Ok then I cum as soon as possible” and switched to doggy style without ejecting out his cock.

But I knew he was lying. He continued to fuck my brains out for a good 30 minutes. Who was I to complain? I was enjoying and the long-lost fun of being fucked had returned. I told him to stop but in another corner of my mind I didn’t mind a prolonged session.

He dipped his index finger into my pre cum and held it out to me, letting me lick from his finger. Finally he couldn’t wait anymore.

“Arrr it’s cumin…”

Before Jackson could finish his sentence, he withdrew his cock out my ass swiftly and undone the condom before he shot his loads. I felt the hot cum landed on my back in strong waves sent me to thrill. Tired, I was not bothered to wipe off the cum and allowed Jackson to lie on my back, spreading the cum all over our body. I couldn’t feel my leg for awhile so we rested to reload the water loss with more shandy.

30 minutes had passed, the session resumed.

I revived Jackson’s cock by strong kissing and licking, which took him some time to become solid hard again. Given such a short time and was able to do a second time wasn’t easy to me. Jackson is more to a top and hardly allows anyone to top him. That day I was honoured to be given such pleasure: topping Jackson.

A smile creeped it's way onto my lips, I grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him gently first, then deeper and harder, forcing my tongue into his mouth. Jackson complied by wrapping his tongue around mine and pushing it back into my mouth.

After applying lube and condom, I had my cock placed on his hairless hole in a missionary position. I pushed and the head of my cock slipped in.

“FUCK!” Jackson screamed.
“I’m sorry does it hurt?”
“Yeah but keep going” Jackson said in a strained voiced.

Looked down and saw it wasn't even half in, I pushed and it slipped even further in. He gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fists, his face turned red and neck showed veins from the strain as well as the ass tensed up. I responded with another deep push, it was now the whole way in.

“I am ready” I said.
“Gently” sweats dripping on his face.

I moved his hips back, inside Jackson's warm ass my dick began to slide back, then forward, back again, forward. Starting slow and gaining speed we moaned with pleasure, everything was silent apart from the random moan and the sound of my balls banging against Jackson's ass. I humped Jackson with vigour and urgency he yelled at every inward thrust. With a slight worry I slowly pulled out my cock but was stopped by Jackson. Instead, he signaled me to continue. So I obliged and gave him my best thrust, he almost teared up and he grabbed my ass so hard I yelped. His tight ass was so amazing. As I continued my fuck, his height gave me the opportunity to play his tongue at the same time. He was moaning very loudly I muffled his mouth often.

Turned him around, he was positioned into standing rear entry. I didn’t care if he yelled and the next door occupants knock on my door, I fuck him hard in rhythm as my hand explored his body. My voice too filled the silent night and that made me feel intimate. Both of us were sweating profusely despite the air conditioner still switched on.

I didn’t fuck him for long but since we were so horny and so eager, we were close again. After a good twenty minutes of fucking Jackson, my cock started twitching and my balls tightened. He was warned as I was about to cum.

“Same” he whispered.

Overdid it a little, I gave Jackson a few last hump which we both yelled loud “FUCK”. I withdrew my cock out his ass quickly, removed the condom, made Jackson laid on the bed and shot loads of cum over Jackson's face, chest and abdomen. My eyes moved back to his cock in time to see the first jet of cum blasted from his cock and shot out into the river. And then another, and another. I was not counting. I closed my eyes to enjoy the pleasure which seems eternity. The room filled with the sound of our gasp and our manly aroma. Neither said a word to each other.

I sat on the bed, my cock still throbbing, I sunk down next to my friend and kissed him gently enjoying the taste of my cum landed on his lips.

The time was 11.45 pm. First session ended, scored A+. Next session was the next morning before checked out.

He is now my buddy.


Saturday, April 24, 2010

I am back, for awhile.

I've been disappearing for too long, I agree.

What've I been doing? If working part time is worth the time, then sex is even more valuable.

In these few months, I found myself a buddy. Though not as a lover type of buddy, he is able to sexually satisfy my lust. I may sound very simply and a slut, I do need entertainment all the time. I couldn't resist, I couldn't reject and I don't want to lie to myself.

Hopefully I've the chance to describe in detail my 3p sensation, with him and his friend.


Friday, January 22, 2010

untitled 0005

continuous of 0004..

same as the reason given, i online in the mid of night. i am not a night ghost. i wake up at that night and my lifestyle is simply turned around with my sleeping time opposite yours.

the second i connected, i received Gan's messages already. should i think that he is waiting me, or am i thinking too much? anyway, summary:

"i am curious, evan"
"curiosity kills the cat"
"but if i don't try, i cannot rest"
"if you try, you're history"
"she won't know"
"she will know. she's not dumb"
"i will be careful"
"it's not about careful or not. how about your gf?"
"she doesn't need to know"
"no i am keeping her"
"how do you want to try then?"
"i will have a bf and gf"
"WHAT? how to handle?"
"i will meet each of them on alternate days. that's just a plan"
"not a sound plan to me. i thought when you say try, it is just about sex with a guy"
"that's my plan, evan"
"? you are looking for a bf or sex buddy?"
"isn't both same?"
/speechless.. "you will find out once you try"
"that's what i said. i would like to try"
"but one thing i hope you will find out after trying. know to differentiate sex and love"
"i hope i can. and i will promise to be careful"
"careful of gf knowing or careful with condom?"

we chat casually before the topic arises.

"do you have sex with your gf?" i asked.
"yea we do."
"what were you thinking? boys or girls?"
"both i think"
"what do you expect from boys sex?"
"pleasure and fun"
"i am asking if you are becoming top or bottom?"
"surely bottom"
/surprised "you will get fuck?"
"yes sure. if i want to fuck, i can fuck a girl"
"let me ask you back. have you dated and sex with a girl before?"
"no..." i lied.
"then are you gay?"
"i think you are"
"you are just trying your luck. i am not" i lied again.
"maybe when i read your blog, i can find out something"
/shit "have you been to my blog?"
"not yet"
/damn (delete my blog link in msn)

conclusion: he will have his first fuck with boy/ boys soon. my words cannot reach him already. kind of good also. if he never try, he will never learn his lesson. he has already decided and there is little i can do for him. maybe i can ask his fuck buddy to treat him bad, so to give a bad impression to Gan on how bad a gay fuck can be...


Tuesday, January 19, 2010

untitled 0004

i hardly sign in my msn. there is so many things occur between me and msn. i know all my exes from msn. i am afraid when i log in, i will see them online. their personal message: i love you forever, thinking of you. etc etc. beh tahan them.

but i still sign in last night/ maybe this morning (4am). no one online at this hour. good. then suddenly pop up some one sign in. shit. check carefully... oh it is my friend Gan. luckily.

Gan is my friend since middle school. he is straight and had a gf for almsot 3 years. i thought he is straight. he saw me online, and i send him a message to initiate conversation. he is quite mysterious that night and i dig more information from him.

straight to the main point. the reason he cannot sleep because he is 'confused'. what is he confised? he told me
"i think i like boys and girls"
"what why say so?" i asked.
"yesterday i go my friend house sleep. i don't know why i go and touch his..."
"omg your friend know?" i asked.
"don't know"
"how about your gf?"
"don't know either"

i thought of telling him i am gay, and then slowly explain and talk about this matter. but in the end i act straight and talk things out. i only deal this problem once. with KC long time ago. i could not come out with my ideas that night when i talk to Gan. i did my best to tell him what i think, and give him many choices to choose. at this stage it is most important to know where his gf is located in his heart. he should not be gay because he has a choice. if he can be happy with his gf for so long, why let a boy ruin it? unlike us, he defitniely can choose.

and so. i told him to take a rest and talk next time. hope he do not act rushly.

this post is written myself. but with a lot of google translation help. how is it? ok?


Friday, January 15, 2010

part 7 - second shoot got caught

credit to you know who.

august 2000 (13 year old), i was watching a porn i borrowed from my friend. an angmo straight porn it was. of course i looked at cock instead of pussy. there were 2 stories in one cd. i popped in and started with the first scene: in a saloon.

the story started with a cute guy (let us name him Steven) entered a saloon shop. there were few customers in the shop, but only a lady served them. we can assume the lady was a hair stylist/ beautician and let us name her Jess. Jess was busy serving the customers - cut their hair, perm, drinks and clean the floor. while Steven was patiently waiting for his hair cut/ whatever, it was 5 oclock already. other customers left the shop and now only Steven and Jess were in the shop. when Jess was about to flip the 'welcome' to 'closed', a man came and pulled the door away, accidentally gave Jess a shock. then they conversed in French/ Italian/ whatever (the first dialogue was after 5 minutes play), probably apologising and asked to be the last customer of the day. ok let's name the guy Darren. he was there for facial mask therapy i assume.

Steven had brown hair, crystal eyes with spectacles and pierced on the right ear. he was wearing his formal attire, probably a blue colar worker in his late twenties. his hair was long and he really need a shave. while Darren was a blonde guy in mid twenties, he was wearing a white shirt printed a cross on it. i would say both the guys are cute and adorable. especially Darren. he has the boyish look and very pure. his smile was so charming and polite. should i describe Jess? nah.... not interested.

the shop was left with the three of them. while Darren was having his mask on, Jess turned to Steven and cut his hair. blink and the scene changes to Steven with his hair done. neat and tidy. Jess was shaving his beard off. turn her head to Darren, Darren was checking his face after facial mask. left and right. right and left. again and again. really cute.

when everything was done, time to pay. this part was the most interesting of the 30 minutes. Steven and Darren was standing at the counter, talking to Jess. Steven was trying to explain something and i assume he did not bring his wallet because he kept touching his pocket looking for something. while Darren was pointing his money on the counter. i assume he did not bring enough money. anyway since when we need understanding when watching porn? we create the story, don't we?

Jess was trying to report police but was stopped by the two guys. Darren and Steven then offered to clean the shop to repay the debt. scene changes again. this time Steven had taken off his coat and tie, unbuttoned his first button and vacuum the floor. while vacuuming, he cannot stop noticing Jess's protruding cow breast which were barely covered. Darren was tasked with mopping the floor with a piece of cloth. Darren was not as pure as he look as. Jess was sitting on a sofa with her leg crossed, leaving her panties exposed under her short blue skirt. Darren kept looking down and get closer to her for better view. when Jess found out she was peeped, she exposed more of her underskirt and bra, to fulfill the lust of the boys. and then slowly seduced the boys onto the sofa where she sat.

Steven slowly unbuttoned his attire and exposed his rock hard chest and yellow brief. he did not have hair on his chest, legs and armpits. he probably shaved clean. nipples hard and pinkish. abs were defined. bubble butt. he then threw off his spectacles and walked close to Jess. Darren on the other hand was more skinny. his body was not fully developed but the outline was ready. his nipples are pinkish and very hard, very yummy. with very slight hair on his chest, the hair thickens as it grew down to his bottom. trail can be seen heading down the boxers he wore. armpits hair look silky.

Steven was found licking her pussy when Darren walked to her. kissing her at first, Darren slowly took off his boxers and changed position to receive oral. wonderful. big size with pinkish head, Darren enjoyed as Jess popped her head in and out eating his cock. holding her breasts with every hands, Steven gave her pleasure and tongued her deep.

i am too lazy to make a review. you can imagine the rest of the play. a remarkable scene was that Darren and Steven both inserted their thick long cocks into Jess's pussy at the same time. both the boys moaned loudly in pleasure which was erotic to listen to. but Jess moaned even louder and put off the excitement. what a waste.

thought back of the way KC played himself, i tried, lying down on the cold marble floor, tfk alone in the room. at least i thought i was alone. starting to feel something strange, i hasten the paste and i can feel my cock grew bigger than normal. a bigger boner than i usually have. it grew slightly more than 6". when Darren shot his cum, i followed. it was a mind blowing orgasm. i cummed a lot which i think can fill up a small glass. i was all exhausted at the same time felt pleasured. my second time, this time was fun and thrilling.

that's not the end.

unable to catch my breathe, i fell asleep in the room. and when my mum knocked on my door she found out i was laying there naked with my cum all over the floor and porn was switched on. she did not say anything and walked out. SHIT i got caught. nervously i cleaned myself and the room. come to think of it, how did she enter? did i not lock the door?

we did not fight for what i did. we talked a bit on the 'health disastrous activity' and she simply asked me not to repeat.

when i told KC that i tfk and shot a lot of cum, he taught me more skills to pleasure myself. including kissing, insert finger into anus, rubbing with lubs etc. i have to admit that he is very professional at his age haha. when i told him that my mum caught me tfk, he laughed even harder and lasted for days. in the end he assured me not to worry, as long as i don't get caught anymore. what's more? he is now one of my best buddy i have. and our relationship is not just mere friends anymore. but that was another story.

there goes my second tfk experience.


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

life before cny

unlike ken's house, my house is so small. so small that you need to squeeze everything like a store room or garage. my house is full of rubbish and garbage, mainly because my father is a rubbish collector. shaky table, broken dvd player, spoilt cabinet, rusty chair. he brings back everything. disappointing, those are really rubbish worthless to keep and maintained. over the years, me and my mother cleared the piled up waste and cleaned the house annually, before cny. but my dad did not learn his lesson, he keeps fetching those rubbish back home, as if they are his children. but thank god he does not bring back rotten food and injured animals. i will go crazy >_<

cleaning the house is one thing, new clothes is another thing. new year new life, and of course new clothes. i manage to buy 2 t shirts and a vest for this year. in addition of KC's new year gift, i have now 4 for my top. sometimes i think he treats me so good, i might fall for him again. haiz.....

other than that, valentine this year falls on the same day as cny. unfortunately, i will be celebrating the day with my family and relatives. imagine those aunties introduced their friends daughter to me. i have to kindly entertained their humour which in fact, i am so darn lazy to talk to them. hey! i am gay. stop introducing people to me.

well, part of that, Jino has recently went missing. so my post are delayed a bit a lot. when are you coming back? maybe i can write on my own and forget him.... i cannot imagine that >_<


Monday, January 4, 2010

part 6 - my first kiss

credit to you know who.

not sure if i should separate to 2 post. but since they are inter related, maybe i would stick to 1.

again that was a story happened previously in july 2000, when i was 13. at that age i had already hit my puberty. hairs growing on my armpits. misai and pubic hair grew as well. worse of all, i can grow boner countlessly. at that time, i did not talk to anyone about that, thinking that it's some disease that would get off soon. but as time passed, i learned that it is part of growing process that every boy goes through. puberty we call it.

almost everyone at my age, in my school comprise only boys were excited all over. we started talking about girls, kisses, pubes, sex and... TFK. at first it was new to me, i have no idea what was that (but i tfk without knowing what is tfk few months ago). i live in an era of limited internet connection. so my sex education is limited by the strain of underexposure.

when i asked them what is tfk, in the crowd, all of them laughed at me. i was thinking why. one of them explained that you need to stroke yourself up and down, get it big and enjoy the session. it made sense to me and i recalled my past experience in cny. then everyone divert into tfk, exchanging experience of their sessions, how they did it, the sensation, the source and everything. there i was, sitting there looked blur. and tried to hide the fact that i tfk-ed unconsciously.

one of them, who was a cadet as well in my last camp, my best buddy now said "if you don't understand i can show you later. but do not tell anyone ok?"

i was so innocent, i said "ok"

wonder who that guy was? KC la.

followed suit, i ended up in our school toilet. what i like about our school is the toilet kept clean and dry. not to mention it is built spacious as well. in my heart i thought he would show me the way of tfk. but when we were inside, he asked me to strip down to without a strand of thread. i casually did as he said, because we were used to looking at each other naked back in camp. i had boners ready. i unbuttoned my shirts, school pants and so did he. he sat on the toilet bowl, began stroking his 5.5" cock, slowly at first. about 10 minutes later he asked me to stroke mine. blur with the condition, i stroke mine as he instructed. my feeling was rather fluctuating. i did not have the urge of anything besides excitement. but looking at KT red in face, sweating body and his odour makes me excited.

his movement switch vigourously. slow to fast, back to slow and fast. i was standing there playing with myself like an idiot. he asked me to kiss him and lick his nipples, but i rejected. i stood there long enough, stroking myself like an idiot. bored with the repeating movement, i started kissing and licking his lips. he let out a soft moan of pleasure. he asked me to shoot out, but i did not know how. i think i was a turn off for him, being so innocent and did not know how to act.

later, he let out a large moan and oozed out 6 squirt of whitish liquid from his cock. i was so shocked he cummed on himself. a thickening 'pee' it was. he looked enjoyed the session but i didn't. i am not used to tfk, let alone do it together.

"that is tfk"
"i think i did the same last time at home" i said.
"you will understand one day" he replied with a smack on my ass.

we dressed and walked out of the cubicle, to realize there are other people around in the toilet. i was so embarrassed and left quickly. later we were scolded for attending class late.

after that day, he occasionally asking me to follow him to toilet, and he tfk as always. i slowly started to enjoy watching him enjoy, but i don't have the urge to shoot. that continued for a month. and very quickly, rumours of me and KC having sex in toilet roamed. i was cool with it as it increased my popularity. but i denied when they asked if it's real or not.

p/s: why did i say previously my first kiss was not a glory one? it's because i kiss some one without feel. not the one i love. i didn't love him till something else happen. maybe i just had crush on him?


Saturday, January 2, 2010

2010 resolution

i may have a lot of wishes but a realistic one will be considerably brings calmness.

i want good health, more cash, more freedom, and most importantly, i want to remain single.

i was thinking of indulging into love but on the safe side, it was not a wise decision to rush a love in a recovering period. for now, i think single is best for me and i will enjoy my singleship best. without worries. without responsibility. single is my choice. and i shall stick to my decision, for at least a year (some kind of promise i made to myself and god) just follow my instinct and no other reason.

happy new year to everyone out there. remember to take care of yourself. and don't be reckless. watch out for unforeseen dangers. be alert.

my first day of 2010 was greeted by price hike of gardenia white bread by 20 cents.

happy new year,

Saturday, December 26, 2009

melaka christmas


without prior notice, i left this sad place for a night trip to melaka. wondering who i went with? with KC again? Andy? or new bf? no no no. i went with my family and my cousin, Rex's family, and his gf, and other cousins' bfs and gfs.

25 Dec

so many people in melaka that day, we couldn't find a place in to dine in. a little advise for you. do not go to famous places on public holidays such as christmas, new year, chinese new year, bla bla bla. go and you suffer like us.

it was just a day trip. we wanted melaka luk luk and chicken rice balls but everywhere was people lining up. for the day, we travelled by foot because melaka traffic was bad. nothing much when the sun was still rising but the night view was fantastic. for the first time i celebrate my christmas outstation. overall, the trip was boring.

if there was a memorable event during the trip, it would be the leng zai stadhuys ice cream man. he, 31 years old, was tanned. he didn't look like 31. i thought he was 25. i was bored and excused myself for an ice cream when i noticed him standing near the fountain. not much of business he had. wearing a singlet and apek shorts, he kept ringing the bell to attract customers. i initiated the talk by asking how his business was, and he replied with 'ma ma dei' even it was on christmas.

he is a married man with a daughter. though a straight man, he has an aura that attracts me dearly. we talked about his family, the business, challenges, tourist, melaka, my background, education, peers, astro and english. he is a good english speaker. he gave me advise on how to overcome the fear of love - by keeping myself busy. ya ya we were talking about my love (i didn't mention i am gay) luckily he had a chair for me otherwise i would stand for an hour chatting with him. i had a lot of ice creams, i tried all the flavours. we stopped when his china-looking wife and 10 year old daughter visited him for late lunch with him. after exchanged christmas wishes, i left them and looked for my family. honestly i love talking to him. i didn't dare to ask for his contact but if there is chance i will visit him again next time. he won't retire so fast, right?

that's all for my christmas. nothing great to share. now i am back to my sad place. new year plan is still on its way. merry christmas everyone.

merry christmas,

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

genting 2

finally, it's here...

again credited to you know who. blame him for delay. (cruel)

20 Dec

it's midnight already. when we reached our room, i was joking that KC and Mel would be having sex by now. he also jokingly asked to check out. i agreed so we quietly put our ears on KC room's door (next to us) and listened carefully. after 10 minutes, we left.

back in the room me and Andy had our bath respectively. after bath he came out with his shirt on but towel wrapping his waist. he claimed that the toilet is wet and he cannot change his pants. huh? whatever. bad excuse, i think. and then he put on his pants and took off the towel. and then i took my bath, came out and to realize he was on his bed already, with a bottle of carlsberg in his hand. shamelessly i grabbed a bottle and drank too.

we chat more later at night. pillow talk. i was on my bed and he was on his. separated by a gap between the bed, we continued talking from where we had stopped in the lunch. just when i was about to drunk he asked me about my love.

"what do you want to know about my love life?"
"you and KC are together right?"
"we were, not are"
"i thought you broke up and get back to KC"
"that's so nonsense. KC has Mel and I wouldn't break them apart"
"then i think i think too much"
"nevertheless i did broke up not long ago"
"mind to share?

and i started telling stories. of how me and DL started. and then on how we left each other. followed by how EC came to my life. then to how everything ended with mistrust and betrayal. as i spoke, my voice was getting softer. i turned around with my back facing him, to hide my tears.

"are you ok evan?"
"..." i whispered and continued drinking.

and i continued on how i felt on them with my trembling voice. i was foolish to tell him how i really felt. he sure thinks i am a fool who does not know how to let go. i still love EC. i cannot continue anymore as i burst into tears.

i did not know how he came out with few packets of tissue, he came over my bed, sat next to where i lied, turned me around and wipe my tears like how a mum would do to her baby. i continued ranting, complaining, crying and shouting in disappointment as he kept listening and wipe my nose and eyes. he showed a serious face at first, but later he smiled.

"i am glad you are still crying. the moment you cry meaning that you are still yourself. meaning that you did not change for someone who hurted you. you are still yourself regardless of what circumstances you are going through"
"idiot. if i can become stronger and stop crying, you wouldn't need to look at my pathetic face now" i said.
"who say you are pathetic? if failing relationship means pathetic, there are many pathetics in this world. no one would blame you for your relationship. the way you are now is better than those who pretend to be strong and cheat themselves into illusion that they are strong and determined. you are a good person and you did your best already"

just to name a few, there were more he said down the list but i could not gather all his 'wisdom'.

hug like this

i sat myself up on the bed, i hug him from his waist, deepened my head to his abs and continued crying. he played with my hair and continue comforting me. he was so warm. and gentle. not long later he put me into sleeping position, this time he lied on my bed too. i placed my head on his chest while he hug me like how EC usually hugs me. i pressed my head hard on his chest, wiped the remaining tears that kept flowing on his shirt.

"i am sorry if i hurt you with my words. there are many comforting ways to calm you but reality is reality. don't feel bad because you cannot stand up on a little failure. you have people around you who care and care. it doesn't matter if you feel sad now. you will learn to stand and start walking again. time will heal. but you do not have much time. you have a lot more to do"

his words did bring slight protection and comfort to me. he continued his words. this time i kept my mouth shut and bite his shirt. i pitied his shirt because it was stained with the blood from my gums. but i couldn't find other way to release my feeling. i was sobbing all the time he couldn't hear me properly. i continued listening to his heart beat and realized he has a hard chest.

"your words are very different from others"
"i hope they don't sound dumb and crappy" he said.
"at one point, they do" i jokingly said.

and we both laughed. more or less i am much relaxed already. i feel much lighter.

"do you mind if i ask?" i asked.
"what is that?"
"may i safely assume that you are gay too?"
"i am bi"
"does hugging me make you uncomfortable?"
"not at all. let me tell you. i don't like to force myself to do what i don't like to do"
"then do you mind if i sleep naked?" i asked, in hope that he says no.
"if you feel comfortable with it, go ahead"
"nah... i don't want to move away from this position. damn comfortable"
"hahahaha i didn't know you have this habit"
"i was joking with you" i lied and covered my blush face.

"if you feel uncomfortable, move me ok?"
"sure i will. you don't have to worry me" he replied with a godly smile carved on his face.
"take some rest. we had a tiring day today. you don't mind being my friend right?"
"the reason why i tell you so much is because i treat you as a friend. agree?"
"i just want to have your confirmation" he smiled and i replied with a knock on his head.

the night was so long and slow. i am glad i can still laugh. definitely due to Andy's warm protection that night. it was so comfortable that i did not know when i fell asleep in his arms. the feeling of being hugged and protected is awesome. i was sure i was drunk already.

the next morning, i woke up when Andy moved his body and left for shower. i had the burning sensation on my body probably due to last night's alcohol. i checked myself. clothes on. underwear not inside out. no sight of cum stain. hole was still tight. the condom in my wallet untouched. hahahaha this guy is really a good guy. i moved over to the side he slept on, felt the warmness of the bed and rolled a few times. looked at my phone, it was 11 am. way past the breakfast buffet.

the rest of the day was nothing. KC sent us back home and i started writing this.


Monday, December 21, 2009

genting 1

credited to you know who

19 Dec

in KC's honda accord 4 of us drove up to genting. KC, Mel, Andy and me. the couple were so talkative but me and Andy were so quiet. the couple kept opening topics for us to chat together, but because i was not familiar with Andy, i kept quiet most of the time. i am not into socializing. more like an introvert?

we reached genting at 9.40 am. i didn't know why we reached so early for, as we cannot check in hotels till 12 pm. we left our luggage in first world bell counter and went for a walk. for the breeze. for shopping. anything till the clock stroked 12.

during the period, the couple were having fun shopping here and there. holding hands here and there. kissing here and there. while me and Andy were following behind them, kept shaking our heads. many times me and Andy attempted some conversations but in the end we smiled off and looked at the sweet couple. maybe i was too tired to start talking and knowing people at the moment.

i didn't have an official introduction with Andy till we entered and rested in the hotel room. it was a deluxe room with 2 beds.

"hi, i am andy"
"hi, i am evan"
"you look so tired. are you ok?"
"yea i am fine"

and we went silent again. we made ourselves busy by unpacking and walking around for nothing. before i could lie on my bed, he broke the silence.

"do you mind if i take my shower first? or do you want to go first?"
"after you"

i was expecting him to take off his shirts and pants, wrap himself in his towel and walk to the toilet. but he didn't. he walked in toilet with his clean clothes and towel, locked the door and i could hear the water sound. so disappointing. sitting there, i wondered what kind of people he is. according to KC, he is a nice guy and friendly. oh... probably i need to try harder to break the ice. i told myself, i will start talking to him after he finished his bath.

"do you mind? go to my bag and take out my other shirt for me? i took the wrong one" he yelled with the door slightly opened.
"sure. wait a moment"

while i was checking his bag for his yellow t, he placed his shirts at the most bottom of his bag. his jeans on top. socks at the side. but i never see any underwear. maybe he is planning to wear the same since it was only a night stay.

i passed him his shirt and later he came out from toilet with his hair wet, in his yellow t and white bermuda. its my turn to bathe. i usually will take off my shirt and pants and wrap my towel on my waist before going in, and will come out again with my towel to change. but since Andy was there and we were not close, i did not do it. not that i am shy or didn't want to show him anything. i just didn't want to seduce him lol.

i simply let the water hit my body for few minutes. and then i dried myself, get myself into full attire before i stepped out the toilet.

"KC said Mel's sleeping and asked us to get lunch by ourselves"
"it's ok. i let you decide where to eat"

KC must have planned for this, to create chances for us to be alone, and to talk. if it is his plan, i did not want to waste his effort. during our lunch in old town, we talked more about our education, our families, religion. we didn't touch about love and sex because 1) i did not know whether he is straight or gay 2) i did not want to start talking unless he started it first

Andy is the second son of a single mother. born in penang, he is studying in kl. age 22. a swimmer. represented his school for swimming competition. studying advertising marketing (what is that?) he likes penang food such as assam laksa and ojien. likes sudoku, psp and he is a dota freak. he is an athist (does not believe in god) and we argue a lot in this.

about his appearance, he has the same height as me. 170cm. he is 60kg. i believe he has a built body since he is a swimmer. his biceps are so hard (he let me touched) he has a piercing on his left ear, he dyed his hair red but is coming off. his hair isn't too long but is handled neatly. he doesn't have a smooth face texture, so do i. straight acting, quite bossy and i believe he is a hot-tempered person as well. his favourite attire is typical tshirt and jeans. can imagine?

we got closer, more topics to talk about and though we have many differences, we kept talking till KC and Mel joined us. it was 3pm already and we left them to rest at hotel room.

in hotel room, i wanted to sleep until the concert started. so i put myself to sleep but fail. i kept rolling on bed because i need something to hug. i always hug my bolster when i sleep. i took a pillow and placed it below me. Andy took another shower. he is a clean freak. i pretend to sleep, see if he will come out naked. guess what? he came out the toilet with full attire again. he arranged his dirty clothes by his bedside, then he climbed on his bed, covered himself with blanket and then placed his towel on a chair nearby.

"why didn't he come out naked?" i whispered in my heart.

so he slept while i couldn't stop thinking.

i waited 4 hours just to look at him sleeping. all the time his back was facing me so i could see nothing. i pretend to wake up from yawning, which in fact i really yawn due to my tiredness. he opened his eyes when i woke him up.

"nice sleep? come and have dinner now"
"alright let me wash my face first"

we called KC and Mel, met in coffee terrace and had our dinner there. not good. taste not good. price not good. heart felt not good spending on KC. Mel was yapping about her excitement seeing lam fung later. she is his fans. i don't give a damn actually. lam fung is cute but he will never be mine. i never listen to his songs. and i didn't know how to enjoy later. when Andy left for toilet i quickly pulled KC aside and asked if Andy is gay or straight.

"go find out yourself. but he knows you are gay" said KC.
"damn you don't have to tell around i am gay:
"how? who do you think will sleep with you if they didn't know you are gay?"

ohhh... i think i get what he meant and i get my answer too.

the time had come. lam fung appeared at the stage and sang his first song. second song. third song. the list continued. i wasn't too amazed with his performance, but i really did when Mel shouted so loud for encore. all i felt is cold and shaky. i did not have a warmer jacket. chattering teeth followed by the urge to visit toilet.

by the time everyone left arena of stars, i was very sleepy already. we had some midnight walk around genting, took some pictures, snacks and supper, and finally casino. Andy won couple of hundreds and bought few bottles carlsberg before we called it a day.

in the room, to be continued...


Saturday, December 19, 2009

i am back for 7 hours

i am not planning to write long on this vacation. i was not at all enjoying myself. i felt tired, not to mention i was bored and lonely during the trip.

on air asia we left kl for langkawi on monday 14th.

to be honest, i was not interested in this family vacation. what is good with langkawi? shopping? makam mahsuri? food? none was attracting.

we did not sign up for the snorkeling or visit mangrove islands. we stayed on the main island and visited some tourist attractions. makam mahsuri. galeria perdana. aquarium. boring. but the cable car was a breathtaking sight. i love it so much. watching the sky turned from blue to orange and then to dark. most probably the most worthwhile day throughout the trip to watch the sun set from a high ground.

other than that? beaches with family was super boring. not only there was no eye candies, i was alone and no one to play with. i rather stay in the hotel and sleep for the whole trip if you ask yea yea sheraton hotel's environment is a pleasant one. friendly staffs too.

alone in the beach

5 days in langkawi was too much to me. i am glad i come back kl and get some real sleep. but in 7 hours i have to leave again for genting. during the days in langkawi, i really miss kl and computer hahahaha

very little time left to rest. time to say goodnight and have a nice weekend.

a souvenir for you all - snapped with uncle's black bazooka camera

came back and leaving soon,

Saturday, December 12, 2009

untitled 0003

one last post before i disappear for a week.

few nights already i've been checking outside my window. i didn't realize i have neighbours living opposite my house. the opposite house is a rented house, if i am not mistaken 4 people stay in there. like mine, 4 rooms per house.

one particular reason i keep looking out is because of a person. over the last 7 days, there were 3 days he lompat tali topless in his room. that's not all. he always wear short red pants and that was very eye attracting. sometimes he jumps and sometimes he lompat tali. the other 4 days, he let his curtain down. put me into many imagination.

i couldn't see how he looks like. hopefully he is around 25 years old. maybe i should wear a red pants and start jumping to attract his attention? but before that, i should buy a binocular and check him out first. who knows i see wrongly and he's actually a girl? lol

leaving soon,

part 5 - when was your first time looking a real one so close?

let's roll back to my memories in early 2000, when i was still 13. if it wasn't the july camp that i attended, i wouldn't have a nice view of what man is made of.

so much that i know i am gay since young, i have never seen a real man's cock until i was 13 in the jungle. (the one i saw in beach when i was small was not counted as i did not know anything ^_^) it was a camp to break the ice between the new members, and only few of us attended as cadets wasn't popular in our school. we are all quite open with our flesh. you see, when a bunch of boys from boy school hang out together, our topics are all about boobs and pussies. while we were discussing about those in swimming trunks by the river, one by one jumped into the river to hide the boners they built. the cool water de-boned their tents immediately but i was the only one staying on the land, unwet.

curious to why didn't i made follow to river, they formed a circle and whispered among themselves. i believe they came into a conclusion when they climbed up from the river bank. the six of them (RL, PK, Shawn, MC, KC and WY) had a plan in their minds, i can tell was a wicked one. few of them hesitated but was convinced.

few minutes after further discussion, they surrounded me. they were in nothing but swimming trunks. WY and MC wore a skimpy ones, which are way too low their waist, revealing some of their nicely trimmed bushes. the rest wore triangle trunks, blue, black and red. the most special one is SS, wearing white underwear. and i can see through his cock just by staring with naked eye.

in an immediate move, all of them removed their trunks down to the ankle. i was so innocent that i didn't expect any of this to happen and didn't have time to react. the shy but brave ones covered their cocks with hands, some barely covered due to the boners they had. while some stood in wet proudly in front of me revealing their uncut cocks, i began building a boner myself. SHIT!

i can tell they have nice cocks for asian. they are not very well built at the time. but their bodies turned me on. the most handsome, yet the most muscular among all, MC, 6' tall had a 6" long, 3" width cock hanging low. and his balls are dangling low. i don't really like the hairy balls he has but the length of his thick cock covers the incentive. i can tell it's long, and it's not even a boner yet. others have hanging cocks around 4"-5", heavy pubes and some hair on their chests. not to mention that MC has pointed red cherry nipples. so tempting.

unable to cover my own cock which was popping out of the trunk band, i jumped into the river. followed by them, surrounded me in naked, grinning.

"what are you doing?"
"to test if you have boners by looking at guys"
"come on get a life"
"we got the answer"

they let go off me after they wrestled and took off my trunk and swim off in nude. i must admit that they were very open at their age. i thought this could only happen in western countries but it happened on me, in malaysia. and i must admit too that swimming free ball is fantastic. the cold stream through your balls and your cocks flaps your thigh in every move. but i was shy. i didn't get up from the river until they returned my trunk. the 6 of them formed close bonds out of sudden, because i see them walking in nude in jungle, swim in nude, cook in nude, everything in nude. something that i don't expect to see when i thought they were so straight acting in school but in the jungle they can go crazy.

i remained quiet the whole day, being shy of found out my natural habit. but thanks to them, i had a wonderful view of that year. they are good looking, gorgeous and with nice cocks. what i didn't understand was of why did they want to test me? the camp continued for 4 days, and i get to see my friends in nude for 4 days altogether, giving me an excitement chill for the week. you can say its a nude camping. and I can't keep myself hiding from boners, because i was excited throughout the camp. with that, they keep teasing me and asked me to strip everything. "don't be shy" they said. but the max i can do was no further than my underwear. i was shy. i need to cover my constant boner. not to mention its freezing cold at night. but i see RL and PK had boners like me, and i tell you. they look gorgeous when they stretch out to relax. they are gymnast, and they have good body and flexibility. i think they can bend and suck on their own cocks too.

i saw SS tfk-ed behind the bush but i made no deal about that because i was on duty in cooking. i remained silence of his session. i think its normal, isn't it? after the camp, we remained normal friends, and will have a same camping trip next year, and every year. from there on, we formed bonds, friendship and companionship that i appreciate, even now. every year, we have new members joining us and the new members were shocked with our culture of camping. but they adapted faster than i thought.

13 was the age i get to have good look at real man's cock. not just from pornos. reals are more turn on. how i wish i can hold them in my hand. i was wondering. how does it feel to hold one in my hand. but i didn't dare to touch. after all we are still new to each other and friends have limitations. all off, i was conservative.

oh well. what a breath taking sight for a 13 year old boy.


untitled 0002

copied from one of the random blogs.

y0u'Re Th3 tHoUgHt ThAt $tArTs 3@Ch MoRn!nG,
tHe CoNcLu$i0n To 3@Ch D@Y.
y0u Ar3 iN @Ll ThAt ! d0,
@Nd 3v3rYtHiNg ! sAy.

YoU'r3 tHe $m!l3 oN mY fAc3,
tHe Tw!nKl3 iN mY eYe.
Th3 wArMtH iNs!d3 mY h3@Rt,
Th3 fUlLn3s$ iN mY l!f3.

y0u'Re Th3 hAnD tH@T's L@CeD iN m!n3,
@Nd Th3 c0@T uPoN mY bAcK.
mY fRi3nD, mY l0v3,
mY sHoUlDeR t0 l3@N oN.

y0u'Re My $iLlY, mAtUr3, cAr!nG,
tHoUgHtFuL, bRiGhT, @Nd HoNe$t GuY.
tHe 0n3 wHo HoLd$ m3 t!gHtLy,
Wh3n ! n3eD t0 cRy.

YoU'r3 tHe DiMpLe !n My Ch3eK,
tHe 3v3r-CoNsT@Nt TiNgLe !n My $oUl.
Th3 v0iCe ThAt M@Ke$ m3 w3@K,
tHe H@Pp!n3s$ oF mY l!f3.

y0u Ar3 aLl !'v3 wAnTeD,
y0u Ar3 aLl ! n3eD.
y0u Ar3 aLl !'v3 dReAm3d 0f,
YoU @Re AlL oF tHi$ t0 m3.

- m3l!s$@ CoLl3tTe -

this is a beautiful poem.

but if this is the way the poem is presented, i find it very irritating.
feel like punching on the face whoever writes this way.
imagine reading sms like this. omg @_@ can die faster.
very irritating. annoying. please stop it!!!


Thursday, December 10, 2009

part 4 - natural art

18sx. underage please leave. don't say i never warn.

when did you first realize you have bushes in your ketiak?
i was 11 years old when i first saw myself with bulu ketiak.

when did you first realize you have misai on your face?
i wasn't sure, i don't give a damn.

when did you first realize you have pubes down the body?
i was 11 years old when i first saw myself in the mirror, together with bulu ketiak.

seriously, do you remember how you first masturbated?
i cannot remember the details, but i can try to elaborate.

i learned the word masturbation, or in chinese tfk in the july of 13 years old. i wasn't not sure if i was a bit late to learn it or not. but when i performed my first tfk, i did not have idea of how masturbation works, or how masturbation feels, or how masturbation supposed to be. simple to say, i did not know what is tfk when i first tfk. in another word, i wasn't aware of what i did.

my first tfk experience was when i was 13 years old, celebrating chinese new year. most people first discovered in the toilet, in shower or in their bed room. but for me i did my first tfk in front of tv. most of you would think i put in some pornos while doing it but in fact i was watching dragon ball (nothing close to porn). one asked "how would dragon ball able to stimulate you?" i did not answer him.

i was watching alone and i didn't knew that time, for no reason i moved my cock around my lose shorts. i am a free baller, so it was let loose easily. then i moved my fingers to my cock, wrapped it and naturally i stroked it up and down while watching gohan trains with picollo. i didn't understand why i did it but it sure felt nice doing it. i shrugged many times that day and i stopped my movement to calm myself. the sensation was too nice that i repeated it many times, only to find out very very very much later that i had orgasm. i started again and the sensation became more intense. i kept doing it and i did not know what's in my mind back then. many hours past, i suffered many sweats and enjoyed many pleasure that was sent down my spine. my cock was rock hard all the time and luckily no one was in the room to interrupt me. i guess i was curious and playing around too much.

i continued till the pleasure reached the biggest intensity. after awhile i felt the the burning sensation in my cock i had never felt before and i thought i was about to pee. i cannot contain the pleasure and pain, i let out a loud moan and 'pee' in front of the tv, on the floor. to my surprise it was dry, milky and sticky. omg! what happened? why is my pee so dry?

shocked, i cleaned myself and woke my cousin, Rex (i was staying at my uncles house) showed him the 'pee' and asked him what happened. he suggested i drink more water to hydrate myself. so i followed his instruction and later i pee properly in the toilet. the watery, clear pee was back. thank god.

that was my first tfk experience. paiseh it was humiliating to tell it out loud.

i did not dare to touch my cock anymore, afraid that i might 'pee' something weird again. but after the cny holiday, in the sex discussion with my classmates, i realized that i did not pee but instead i cum, which is normal for tfk. so tfk, cum, orgasm... everything became lights and i see through many things already. i did not tfk till months later i was daring again, with something erotic in my mind. i was sure that my second time gave more pleasure than my first. more practices and the art improved, thanks to the guidance, suggestion from friends and internet.

see? i told you i discovered many things in boy school, though tfk was self discovery.


Wednesday, December 9, 2009

untitled 0001

9 December

i've known him for many years already. finally he has agreed to show me his webcam.

it was 2am.

i checked out many cc around my house, see if they have webcam supplied. i found one, rather expensive, dirty, smelly, smoky, malaynized and slow.

ya ya. finally i can see his face.

jeng jeng jeng...
after see...
oh... you are like that...
ok time to go.

nice to meet you ^_^

note: don't go to dirty cc. i went for webcam and fell sick. really not worth the effort.


Tuesday, December 8, 2009

part 3 - entering boys world

after my primary school, i entered one of the premier schools in kl with excellent upsr results. upsr was too easy and not worth making a fuss about. it is not an ordinary premier school. to my delight it is full of talented students, which consisted of 100% boys. yes it is a boy school. knowing myself studying there in the future excited me for many days.

i did not believe my eyes when i first stepped into the school. they are all boys in uniform looked neat and scared. as a freshman myself, i am scared too. i sat next to HK and we became friends to help each other out. later, we manage to make more friends and network widened. i still remember HK and I stayed back together and did our revision together. i was very hardworking back when i was young.

boy school was fun. during pj, the boys strip down to their underwear and changed to their attires without shy. i get to see their undeveloped bodies for free all the time. some wore red briefs, black briefs, boxers. too bad, topless in the field was not allowed. the only time i can enjoy more eye candies was during the swimming class. all boys would change to their trunks in the public, of course covered with towels. but it was still a sight to enjoy. boys changing to blue and black trunks swimming in the pool gracefully as fishes. i tried to learn swimming but always drowned. i actually hate swimming because looking at them gave me boner and very hard to hide in trunk.

the longer i stayed in the school, the more people i noticed good looking, especially athletic seniors on the field. they were tanned and fit, built and handsome. my favourite past time was to sit by the field and study. there are some nerd librarians who are good looking too and once a while i dropped by for free air con and eye candies.

at the same time i watched myself carefully not to spill a bean on my sexuality. it was dangerous and i did not want to risk being found out so soon. it was months later that paper cannot wrap fire, i came out from closet too soon and let few of them know (very suspiciously i think they are gay too).

i knew this would be the world for me just right to grow. maybe every school is the same elsewhere, but my sex knowledge began here. very much alike with anyone, from a white innocent cloth i was painted colours of the rainbow. this was the place i further determined my sexual orientation.


Monday, December 7, 2009

Raymond in genting

it will be my first concert in my entire life. i give it to him.

raymond in genting live on 19th Decemeber. without the need to discuss with me, KC bought 4 tickets, 1 for him, 1 for Mel, 1 for me and another one is reserved. most probably is ps 3. well, if i don't have any candidate to accompany me on that day, he will ask his friend to go with me. most probably i will let him decide the fate of the last ticket. it is his ticket, not mine. meals should be covered by him. hotel room too. i don't need to worry anything, just enjoy the day - so he speaks. do i have the chance to voice out? haha no but KC is the kind of person who doesn't need approval and discussion.

still wondering if we 4 people staying in 1 room or 2 rooms. if its 2 rooms... omg. hopefully he is a nice guy. remind me to bring extra condom ya lol.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

to become a mentol for a day

6 December

just because i found a slight hope of reunion in his words, he shattered my resolution again.

after what happened yesterday, i made up my mind already. i decided not to entertain him if he has no answer to my questions. by mean, no friendship as well. i am tired of both of them and i don't want them to interfere with my life ever again until i have the answer of what i am expecting.

though its sweet and sometimes bitter, the memories of the past which seems good and bad, are all fake. i started to doubt myself. which is real and which is fake. it's easier to conclude everything to fake. it's easy for me.

don't worry i will be eating good, sleeping good and working good in no time. it's time to harden my heart.

upon knowing my love failure, KC asked me out. we have not met each other since i was together with EC. if i listen to what KC warned me about EC, i wouldn't end up like this. KC is not an ordinary man. he was one of my ex, my very first love indeed. probably write about him next time.

he fetched me with his car in front of my house. in the front seat was his gf, Mel. my ex with a gf? yeah why not? i am happy KC turned straight and lead a normal life. although i wasn't sure how straight he is, let it just be the way he want it to be. both of them have been together for 7 months already and i have not heard any big explosion among them, which is good. looking at them, i felt good. yesterday's unfortunate was washed away just by being with them.

in his honda accord, he drove us to pavillion. Mel shopped like a crazy lady while we boys were the slave of the day. the more we walked, the more we have to carry. from the load i can estimate the total expenditure on clothes and bags worth more than rm800 already. well... thats what you can expect from rich boy and rich girl. since both of them are rich, shopping is not a problem and i am happy for them. no wonder they can stay happy.

KC suggested lunch in kampachi, while Mel suggested the loaf. i humbly suggested mcd but i was obligated to  wong kok after many discussions (mainly because it is cheaper than what they suggested, something i can afford) there, we talked about how i ended my relationship, what they did to me and what i did to soothe myself. the atmosphere was so intense when my tears began rolling on my cheek. i couldn't contain myself anymore. not because i am sad that i got dumped. in fact i dumped EC. i cried in the crowd because i was touched at what they said to me.

"everyone goes through that, it's part of life"
"you will get over it your own without fail"
"give yourself some time and i will be there for you"
"if you want to cry, lets go home"
"at home we have four shoulders to lend you"
"don't keep it to yourself. release it"
"i know you are at your weakest now, thats why we are here"
"you are going to walk this out just fine"
"anyway you are not alone"
"more importantly, you have much value in you than to deserve this"
"your family, friends, studies, work..."
"i am not pity you but as friends, this is the most we can do for you"
"everything depends on how you think and how you value yourself"
"stop hurting yourself. it makes us feel sad and worthless"

KC moved and sat next to me, patted me at my back and continued talking while Mel held my hands. i knew i shouldn't cry but it's beyond my control. it took me long to stop crying and start eating again. and then KC paid the bill leaving me no chance to pay.

after lunch, we shopped more and i had more time together with KC. we talked more on him and her, KC and Mel this time. from his words, i can hear the bliss they are going through. everything seems fine with them. Mel is his first gf, and hopefully the last for him. she has been overnighting in his house for many months already. Mel is from penang, studying in kl. i don't think KC is so innocent and Mel can leave the house safely without being eaten. you get what i mean? haha.

"how much does Mel know about us?" i asked, just in case i need to watch out from spitting too much secrets.
"well, she knew all about us. she knew i was with you last time. she knew i was gay. but this does not stop us together"
"well i guess trust is the important element here. unlike mine, betrayed by 2 person at once"
"don't say that. at least you found out early, then you end early. that's better than not knowing anything"
"yea i guess so"

then we watched new moon. with credit card, we cut a lot of queue and straight away collect our tix from reservation counter. in the cinema he constantly checked if i am cold or not, just like last time. but unlike last time, my hands escaped his grip and put his hands back on his gf's. i reminded him to behave as a good bf. he just smiled and offered me his jumper.

after movie we had dessert in hong kong place and we 3 shared mango lolo and bobo chacha. not very good. and i didn't get the chance to pay again. in the toilet i hugged him very tight, and thanked him for today. it was just a short hug. friends hug. i really wanted to do it earlier but didn't dare because Mel was with us. after all, i better remain some gap as friends to reduce jealousy from his gf, just in case.

KC has never changed. he is still the trustworthy person i knew. he is wise and intelligent and calm and caring as always. he has the aura that charms everyone around me. i was one example. his hand, his smell, his smile. always able to wash away my troubles. even so, it doesn't change the fact that he was the past. whats past let be past. sometimes we are better off as friends than as lover. he has a gf already. i don't deny i still have a bit feeling on him, but that should not be the reason to separate them. or maybe i don't have the ability to do so to begin with.

after being stirred up by EC, my heart is at peace again. is it because of KC's assurance? or maybe its because while my mind was in chaos trying to think of a way to clear my mind, KC again appears in my life. don't you think KC is my angel? i think he is.

i hope it's as you said. time will heal. and thank you for today. you really help.

p/s: there are complains that my blog is missing apostrophe ( ' ), making it hard to read. he's become hes. who's become whos. i know it sounds so wrong and i am sorry but my keyboard is spoilt. so the ( ' ) button is not functioning. but i bought a new keyboard from pc fair yesterday, so i will fix all posts with appropriate apostrophe hehe. sorry for the inconvenience caused.

i am too idle already nothing to do. hopefully something exciting to come before i start working life... >_<