damn you and f*** off

5 December

EC (the ex i broke up with recently) asked me out today. i didnt have anything to do at home so i agreed. he asked me to meet at his house but i insisted on meeting him in pc fair.

pc fair has a lot of things to see and if i have the cash i would buy an external hard disk. there are a lot of gadgets, a lot of cameras and hot "ducks" ^_^.

i saw him coming from the entrance of hall 3 but i pretended not to see him. i let him found me on purpose and he led me out of the place as it was too noisy to talk, so he said.

he invited me on lunch and since he was treating, why would i reject his offer? i had prosperity burger for my lunch while he had big mc. big mc is my favourite in mcd. he let me had a bite of his in return he took one mouth of my prosperity. fine, a fair trade.

he invited me back home after lunch. as the day was pretty boring, i followed him back to his house. as i entered his house, i can smell the stench of his unwashed clothes piling in his room neatly. he still put the present i gave him on his table. i took my bath in his house like i always do. let the shower hit me hard and washed away my tiredness. i came out in full attire (jeans and shirt) so that i did not increase his horniness and to avoid unnecessary actions.

"wheres DL (also my ex, but dating EC at the moment)?"

"at home, why?"

"why am i here?"

"we can chat quietly here"

"what are we chatting?"

and then slowly he approached me from behind, wrap his hands around my body and hugged me gently and tightly. i did not resist. i knew very well i still miss him, no matter how much i hate him. i miss his smell. i miss his hug. i felt so warm and protected with him hugging me. he put his head next to mine from behind, whispered...

"i am sorry dear"

"sorry, what dear?" (my heart melted)

"no matter what you are still my dear"

"who is DL to you then?"

"my other dear"

"you are just another jerk. you love me or my body?"

he shut my mouth by deep kissing me and i can still taste the tomato sauce he had earlier.

"you have not answered me!"

this time he slipped his fingers into my pants, trying to reach my weak spot. it didnt take long to unbuttoned my shirt and jeans and reached my cock. and i felt weak immediately.

still kissing me, he rubbed his hand on my chest and my cock. i dont deny i feel good being rubbed again, probably because i didnt cum for a long time already. but i know very well what he wants and who he is. i elbowed him on his stomach hard enough to let him groan in pain. i re-buttoned my shirt and pants bring myself to light.

"EC, if you really love me you wouldnt have DL between us"

"EC, if what you want is my body, there a lot better out there"

"EC, if you think that i will return to you, convince me first"

"EC, i still love you but can you please behave as a good bf?"

"EC, if you have not answered all my request, can you please stop disturbing me?"

"EC, DL should be waiting for you. it is not me who you should ask out"

i knew his house too well. i left his house as if it was my house, and walked to tasik selatan lrt, head back home and acted as if nothing had happened. in my room i cried and hated EC more. i love him at the same time he is hurting me more.

if i want to hang out, i can find anyone but not him. if i want to make love, it will not be with him. i would have lower down my morality by seeking ons with other people than to do with a heart breaker such as him. i shouldnt entertain his offer and now i regret go out with him. its already hard to put myself together and he was doing it again. damn him for entering my life and please f*** off.

tearing apart,

Evan